Rahasia Lelaki...

This is very funny, but yet it is quite true dowh..gagaga

Awal Perkahwinan

Isteri : "Jom kita pergi shopping"
Suami : "Jom..dari duduk rumah, bosan plak.."

Pertengahan Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Jom kita pergi shopping"
Suami : "Abang penat laaa..Ayang pergi sendiri laaa..naik lrt ke..drive ke..teksi ke.."

Penghujung perkahwinan
Isteri : "Jom kita pergi shopping"
Suami : "Apa shopping moping..?..aku lompang kang...."

Awal Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Hari ini kita makan kedai ye.."
Suami : "OK..no problem.."

Pertengahan Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Hari ini kita makan kedai ye.."
Suami : "Awak tak boleh masak ke ?"

Penghujung perkahwinan
Isteri : "Hari ini kita makan kedai ye.."
Suami : "Awak nikah je lah ngan mamak kedai tu..."

Awal Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang mengandung.."
Suami : "Abang tak sabar nak lihat anak kita.."

Pertengahan Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Abang tolong buat susu anak.."
Suami : "Abang mengantuk laa..ayang buat laaa.."

Penghujung perkahwinan
Isteri : "Cuba awak tegur anak awak tu sikit.."
Suami : "Tu bukan anak saya...tu anak awak..awak ar tegur.."

Awal Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang masak, abang kemas rumah ye.."
Suami : "OK..no problem.."

Pertengahan Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang masak, abang kemas rumah ye.."
Suami : "Saya penat, awak ajelahh yang buat.."

Penghujung perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang masak, abang kemas rumah ye.."
Suami : " Apa kata awak masak, awak kemas, awak buat sumer...
saya nak....zZZZZzzzZZ" (belum habis ckp dah tido)..

Awal Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Sempena hari jadi saya, abang nak hadiahkan apa ?"
Suami : "Apa yang ayang inginkan.."

Pertengahan Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Sempena hari jadi saya, abang nak hadiahkan apa ?"
Suami : "Setiap tahun saya berikan...tak cukup lagi ke?"

Penghujung perkahwinan
Isteri : "Sempena hari jadi saya, abang nak hadiahkan apa ?"
Suami : "Lompang nak ?"...

Awal Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang tak pandai masak.."
Suami : "Takpe, biar abang masak.."

Pertengahan Perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang tak pandai masak.."
Suami : "Masak jer la apa2 jer.."

Penghujung perkahwinan
Isteri : "Ayang tak pandai masak.."
Suami : "Nak tunggu den lompang baru nak pandai masak? Bakar je lar dapur tu..."...

Debt, Hutang, Pinjam, whatever the way you want to call it...never take it for granted..

This info was given to me via e-mail and its main subject is about how debt could really haunt you down to the grave..For Muslims, we are encouraged to settle all the debts before we die, or it will be the one thing that will stops us from dying peacefully and absolutely no pass to the heaven..I believe all other religions also forbid people from taking something that is not belong to them or borrowing something, and yet not be able to return to it's owner accordingly...That's why most of the Malays (which MOSTLY muslims), in the old times, really afraid not to be able to pay back any debts to it's respective owner. But its kind a different story for our people nowadays......Just see the picture below, it will explain the dangerous of unsettle debts..

This picture was taken at a muslim graveyard in Lembah Keramat said to be behind the Petronas. As we can see, the headstone (batu nisan) was covered with a plastic bag which contains a message from somebody to the corpse's family members, claiming their debt plus some business cards which also included inside the plastic. How do you think the family members would feel if they discovered about this later on?...So, i would like to remind myself, including all my friends out there.....better not borrow things, if you cannot afford to pay back and if you had owed somebody something, go and settle all the debts, before it's too late..and something like the picture above could be happening to you..who knows...PEACE~...Rosnizam, hutang aku rm20 bila nak bayar?!!CIBAI!!Pewi, ko hutang nyawa ngn aku..hahaha...iklan..

How to check your RM50 note.....FAKE or REAL?

Below are the list of pictures showing you on how to distinguish whether your RM50 note is legitimate or not..Feel free to check your money..If you discovered that you had a fake RM50 note, don't hustle...One of the option is, donate it to me....hahaha..

CONSPIRACY THEORY::Did We Ever Land On The Moon?

July,16 1969,was the history making date for the United States of America (USA) as they "claimed" to launch the first ever rocket to the moon. Apollo 11 blasted into the space beginning it's 250,000 miles journey to the moon, witnessed by million of Americans and broadcasted live to the rest of the world to be one of the most amazing moment throughout the history of human kind. The mission is to go to the no-man's land (Moon) and this automatically give America a big advantages in winning the fight with Soviet Union ( USSR, also known as CCCP) to conquer the space and eventually won the cold war.

BUT the questions started to arise..Did they really land on the moon? Most of us think so..

Millions of people watched on the television as the lunar-lander touched down and this unforgettable words are spoken: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."-Neil Armstrong...for more details on the conversation between Armstrong and Aldrin on the moon, click this link: http://history.nasa.gov/alsj/a11/a11.step.html

Bill Kaysing was an analyst and engineer at the company that design the Apollo rockets. He said:

"The whole thing then, seemed phoney to me. I think it was an intuitive feeling that what was being shown was not real"

As he studied the footage of moon landing more closely, he was shocked to find several inconsistencies. Kaysing observes that despite of the clarity of the deep space, the stars were missing from the black lunar sky. He saw American flag waving, even though there were no air on the moon, and he discovered that there was no blast crater beneath the lunar lander, where it's powerful rocket engine was fired. These evidence convinced Kaysing that we never send a man to the moon.

According to Kaysing, the launched of the Apollo 11 to the space was real, but it just doesn't sent the astronauts to the moon..The astronauts just simply orbiting the earth for 8 days, and in the middle of the process, they broadcast a fake footage made here on the earth...He believed that the filming of the footage was done in the Area 51, a very heavily guarded military top-secret facility in Nevada. Only highly recognized authorized personnel can get inside this place where anybody else could be killed dead just trying to get near this place without any warning given by the military.

Russian's spy satellite photos of the Area 51, revealed not only a series of hangers, that resemble movie sound stages but also moon-like craters surface. These evidences supports Kaysing's claims before.

Area 51 snapshot caught from Russian spy satellite

A series of hangers that resembles movie sound stages were found in Area 51 site (claimed to be the place where all the fake footages were made)

Moon-like surface area also found in the heavily guarded Area 51 (believed to be a man-made fake craters on Earth)

Compare these 2 pictures.
[Left]Moon crater shot allegedly taken from the moon orbit by Apollo 10,
[Right]Moon crater shot by Russian spy satellite from Area 51

Was it just a coincidence that these 2 shot looks similar? Or, was it just the same picture? Allegedly claimed to be the real moon crater..Let's take a look at more evidence..

Flag waving on Moon??

Another shot of flag waving on other Apollo mission

A static photo proved that there were an extra lighting on the moon during the Apollo expedition. Light from a filming studio set?

If there is no source of light on moon other than the Sun, why angle of the shadows between 2 different objects was in different degrees? It was suppose to be in parallel to each other since light propagate in parallel..

Even photography professionals feel skeptic about these pictures produced by NASA...for example, below is the list of pictures, shown more leaks or mistakes done by NASA questioned by professional photographers..For the record, all these static pictures were taken by a camera mounted on the chest of the other astronaut, where the engineer that produces the camera said that, the camera was not stable and the quality of the pictures should not be as clear as these pictures showed.

This astronaut is covered with shadows of the LEM, but yet, we could still see in crystal clear the details of the astronauts especially the American flag at the top of the astronaut's back

Another pictures with the same case, but from different Apollo mission

We could see the Sun at the back of the Astronaut, and the front side of the Astronaut should be in pitch black, but as usual, we can see all the details

Another pictures....we could see the UNITED STATES words clearly

Another issue is that, the footage taken by the astronauts on the moon have similar identical background even though the astronauts reported to be at different place at different days on the moon. The footage taken by different Apollo expeditions also shows the same background but what puzzles us, where is the remnants left by the astronauts from the earlier expedition..The background is the same, but the foreground is differ.

Compare these 4 pictures. The first picture is the picture taken from a different expeditions where the second picture is an earlier footage taken by Astronauts from the previous Apollo mission. Where is the remnant left? Was it moved? By whom?

Video footage taken from one of the sixth Apollo missions, where the Astronauts reported to Earth base that they had discovered a new place on Moon, where the background seems similar to the place they discovered on the day before. Compares these 2 pictures, see the similarity.

The last but not least, I'll show you the fake pictures produced by NASA in order to keep fooling people throughout the world and cover these hoax up. The camera used in the expeditions, as explained by the engineer, will have cross-hairs plotted on the pictures taken for research purposes. These cross-hairs will be on top of every pictures they caught. But what happens was, many of the pictures produced by NASA was claimed to be reused or a photo imposed pictures. The claimed was made due to the position of the cross-hairs which were behind of the subject in the picture. Below are the examples.

If NASA truly landed on the moon,remnants of the six successful Apollo missions would have been left behind. The base structure of the LEM (rocket), the abandon lunar rovers, even the American flag would have still standing at each landing site. Kaysing challenge NASA and all the believers to take the most powerful telescope on the world to see whether there are any sign of remnants as stated above left on the moon....Until today, there are no answers..

-THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE-

Husband ,Wife and Dot Dot Dot....

Before marriage....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of
person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

She: Darling!

After marriage....

Simply read from bottom to top...HAHAHAHA~

The reason why we put the wedding on the 4th finger...?

Why don't we just put the wedding ring on any fingers we want??or why dont we just pierce it anywhere on our body, so we don't have to worry losing it..OR...WHY THE HACK DO WE NEED THE WEDDING RING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!hahaha..

whatever questions wandering through to your mind, i believe there are answers behind every inquiries..but i'm going to show you the video of why people tend to put wedding ring on their 4th finger..This is based on Chinese tradition and the explanation is given in the video..you decide the rationality of the video..ENJOY~..

25 Reasons Why..argh,just read..haha

I got this interesting info from my fren via email...after i read it,hmm,..just read it through and ask yourself..is it true or not and try to relate it to the real situation in Malaysia...i think it's true dowh..hahahaha..I got the email in Malay, I don't want to translate it coz i think it is more funny in Malay as it is..Enjoy~

25 sebab suami 'mental'!!

1. Memperkecil suami dihadapan orang lain antara sedar dan tidak walaupun ianya benar ie. "hubby i tu kan kan..memancing ikan pun dia tak tau.. bla bla bla "

2. Menganggu suami dengan menelefon dia terlampau selalu sangat dan selalu dimasa yang salah. ie. "hello abang ada meeting ker tu, sorry la cuma nak cakap..malam nih kita goreng taugeh dan tauhu cicah sos toamto jer ..ok tak?"

3. Terlalu suka mengemas rumah / mengalihkan barang sampai suami tak jumpa barang-barang yang disimpan beliau.. ie. "kita dah simpan pancing tu kat dalam stor, entah la ikat kat atas palang mana satu.."

4. Mengambil muka surat atau bahagian tertentu dari surat khabar dan menyusun surat khabar dengan cara yang amat salah..sampai tidak dijumpa mana-mana seksyen yang hendak "bang, sport section tu ayang dah buat bungkus buah papaya....dah mengkal merah dah"

5. Memotong mana-mana bahagian majalah dan juga suratkhabar atau apa-apa bahagian dari mana-mana printed matter sampai berlubang sana sini dan sisuami tak sempat baca/tengok " ie. eh kita suka la news pasal TV plasma tu..kita dah potong simpan..."

6. Menyuruh suami agar membeli itu dan ini dalam perjalanan balik dari opis sedangkan nak pergi pasar/supermarket cuma esok sahaja atau baru semalam telah ke pasar. ie. "bang.. semalam kita tersinggah SPA, lupa beli garam,gula beras dan susu budak kat TESCO sebagaimana dalam list....boleh singgah tak mana mana ..pleaze "

7. Tidak memberi arahan/instruction yang jelas kepada suami bila menyuruh dia membeli sesuatu dan kemudian memarahkan/menyalah kan suami. ie. "saya kata beli susu cair dan ising gula, apsal awak beli susu dugro dan gula getah ...kan lain tu"

8. Membuat temujanji dan aktiviti sosial tanpa mendapat persetujuan suami terlebih dahulu ie. "i dah confirm malam Jumaat nih nak party tupperware kat rumah cik minah,you tak ada program tahlil kat mana mana kan ?? "

9. Mengubah barang, tempat buku atau tools atau apa-apa setting di PC tanpa memberitahu suami. ie. "screensaver u tentang gambar 80 kilo marlin dengan you tu i dah tertukar jadi gambar Farhin Ahmad..."

10. Bercakap/bersembang di telefon dengan kawan-kawan sewaktu malam selepas 10 pm bilamana nak beristirehat dan ber...ber... .ie. " pot pet pot pet pot pet pot pet pot pet pot .."

11. Menjemput tetamu atau sesiapa sahaja datang kerumah tanpa izin suami. ie. "malam nih i jemput lina dan anum datang dinner rumah sebab hubby dia orang outstation, ok kan kan kan "

12. Berpakaian kusut masai dengan t-shirt terkoyak dan kain batik lusuh dan rambut tak terurus serupa langsuyar dan muka tak bermekap serupa mayat dirumah... tapi cukup segak dan cun bila nak keluar rumah. ie. "..oh baju-baju cantik tu cuma untuk ke kenduri kawin dan dinner jer, kat rumah pakai coli koyak pun dah cukup seksi kan bang .."

13. Mengambil masa yang cukup lama bila bersiap macam pengantin bila nak keluar kemana-mana dan membuatkan suami tertunggu dan terus tertidur. ie. " sorry la i tak tau baju kebaya mana yang paling jarang so kena pilih betul betul .."

14. Dengan sengaja atau tidak sengaja terlupa menyuruh maid atau diri sendiri membasuh atau mensterika baju atau seluar yang telah dipilih untuk dipakai dihari berkenaan. ie. " eh baju tu masih berendam dalam besen lagi..nak pakai jugak ke baju basah tu.."

15. Dengan sengaja atau tidak sengaja menyebelahi anak anak bila suami sedang hot dengan budak budak tu..ie. "..eh biarlah budak budak tu pergi ladies night, bukan nak tinggal rumah kawan dia tu seminggu.."

16. Tidak suka mandi dan bersiap awal pada hari cuti dan hanya bersiap bila nak dekat asar sahaja. ie. "...nak mandi buat apa awal awal bukan nak pergi jalan jalan mana pun.."

17. Suka melengah lengah kan masa bila nak bersolat berjemaah atau beribadat dengan melencong ke dapur, bilik budak budak atau buat benda benda lain. ie. "..awak solatlah dulu, saya nak abiskan rancangan Melodi nih.."

18. Mengganggu suami yang sedang tengah tengok tv. ie. "pasukan hijau kuning tu sampai mati tak akan dapatkan Kaka, mari tolong saya potong ayam nih.."

19. Asyik bercerita tentang diri sendiri tanpa memberi peluang pada suami untuk bercerita jugak. ie. " u tau tak kat opis tadi, i rasa nak massacre client tu u tau tak.. then lagi, waktu balik tadi nasib baik opis boy tahan I ..then lagi tak tak ...then today.. then tadi..u tau tak...semalam u nak tau....bla bla bla bla."

20. Membebel dan berleter tak renti-renti tentang hal-hal yang amat kecil dan di ulang tayang semula tiap tiap hari. ie. " i dah kata jangan kasi budak budak tu prepaid, kan sekarang dah ...bill bla bla bergayut bla bla bla bla...ini semua salah you"

21. Memfitnah dan menuduh suami tanpa usul periksa. ie. " eh cik abang,awak nih ada affair ke apsal sms beep beep beep tak henti henti nih...GRO universiti mana pulak awak nak nih..."

22. Menceritakan hal rumah tangga pada orang lain dan memburuk-burukkan suami @ keturunan suami @ asal usul suami. ie. "..eee u tau tak hubby i tu makan makanan petai jeruk.. eeeii peliknyer!!"

23. Dengan sengaja atau tidak, gagal memasak masakan yang suami nak makan. ie. "..apsal u tak cakap tadi kata u nak makan gulai kari dan rojak pasembor...i dah masak pai daging dan spaghetti kambing .."

24. Meminjamkan harta-benda suami pada orang lain tanpa kebenaran. ie."..adik u datang tadi nak pinjam berus gigi, sebab dia punya dah rosak.."

DAN AKHIR SEKALI

25. Sengaja melengahkan untuk masuk tidur tanpa sebab-sebab yang munasabah di malam Jumaat. ie. "..you tidurlah dulu, i nak habiskan tengok drama susuk nih dulu then nak masak nasi lemak siap siap untuk breakfast dan nak masukkan pakain dalam laundry then kemudian nak kacau dodol....."

How to get laid and make your company pay the cost..hahaha..DOn't Try thiS @ home!!!

A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital. The doctor asked,"What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with
the way you have intercourse". And charged them RM60.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an Appointment,have intercourse with no problems,pay the doctor and then leave.Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. Shangri-la Putrajaya charges RM250, Mandarin Oriental charges RM280, Le Meridian charges RM230. We do it here for RM60, and I get that back from "Medical Claim"!"

Computer Jargon For Malaysians

This is what will happen when Malaysians talks about computer in Bahasa Malaysia..Hahaha,quite funny~

Computer Jargon
Hardware: barang keras
Software: barang lembut
Joystick: batang bahagia
Plug and Play: cucuk dan main
Port: lubang
Server: pelayan
Client: pelanggan

Example:
"That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using either hardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client."

Translated:
"Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan mempergunakan batang bahagia jenis keras atau lembut. Batang bahagia
itu dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan."

v(o_O)V